RubberBuzz || Akron Unleashed: Hit Me Baby One Last Time

6.15.2005

Hit Me Baby One Last Time

It's over, it's finally over. UPN had to pull the pug on Britney and Kevin: Chaotic a week early because I was the only person attempting to watch it. UPN shoved the last two episodes together into one last massive assault on my mind. It was truly horrifying. I'm still going to treat it at two episodes, though; I've got some damn good names for these episode and I'll be damned if UPN's gonna stop me from renaming them.

The first half hour of the show hurt me. Have you ever seen the show Ambush Makeover Well, if you haven't, it's a crappy show where someone gets a surprise crappy makeover. Brit and K-Fed must love this show because the conceived the wedding version of this show. They lured their friends and family to their "engagement party" and surprised them all with wedding! If I were Ma or Pa Spears I would've crapped my pants. I really wanted them to lay down the law and shave K-Fed's "beard." I'm sure the Spears have been giving them hell ever since, so this "episode" will be forever known as Britney and Kevin: Chaotic Episode V: The In-Laws Strike Back.

After the worst wedding in Hollywood history, the Spears-Federline camp dressed up in skeezy track suits with "Pimps" on the back of they guys' jackets and "The Maids" on the back of girls' jackets. I hate them. I really do. The jackets, Britney, K-Fed, this series, all of them are dumb. And then after accosting me with the worst wedding ever, the UPN subjects me to the worst video ever. The world premiere of Britney's new video for the song "Someday" was beyond crap. I'll leave it at that. My brain hurts. For the last five weeks my mind has turned to pudding for at least a half hour every week while trying to watch Britney and K-Fed develop a "relationship." Now, I can have my life back. So here it is, the final name for an episode of Chaotic...Britney and Kevin: Chaotic Episode VI: The Return of My Sanity. There it's over... forever. Part of television history, not television present.

Episode IV: A New Reality Show I'd Rather Watch

Episode III: The Revenge of the Brit

Episode II: The Annoying Wars

Episode I: The Phantom Plot

(joe :: Hit Me Baby One Last Time)

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