RubberBuzz || Akron Unleashed: Life Lessons

6.07.2005

Life Lessons

Here's Davie G.'s life lessons for kindergarteners:

Lesson One: Every afternoon, you curled up with a soft blanket and closed your eyes and rested. Next year, you will leave that blanket at home, and you will begin learning how to fight off a yawn at 2 in the afternoon.

Eventually, you will find that there are people who work very hard and undergo years of great sacrifices in order to earn their own office with a door that locks -- just so they can take an afternoon nap.

Lesson Two: You have learned that the harder you try not to giggle, the more you will giggle. This is because giggling is one of the most powerful forces known to humankind. The more you resist it, the more powerful it becomes.

I have known a few people who lived to be 100, and the one thing they had in common was that they let all the giggles out.

Lesson Three: On your birthday, you brought treats to share with your friends, and they sang for you. People will always give you presents on your birthday, but not everyone remembers to bring treats for their friends. The ones who do have the most friends.

Lesson Four: In kindergarten, you could skip a bath without anyone really noticing. This is a privilege of the very young. Grown-ups have too much stink to pull it off.

Lesson Five: The eraser end of the pencil is just as important as the writing end.

Lesson Six: When you lost a tooth, a new one grew in its place. And you got money. When you get older, if you lose a tooth, it does not grow back. And you have to pay money to get a new one.

Lesson Seven: You know that one kid whose smile always looked kind of mean? You were right to be careful around him.

Lesson Eight: Books always sound best when someone else reads them to you. But your favorites will be the ones you read alone.

Lesson Nine: You tasted paste once. That should be enough to hold you for a lifetime.

Lesson Ten: The adults who always ask what you want to be when you grow up and what your favorite color is are probably interesting people. They just don't ask very interesting questions.

I let the giggles out when I read this one. I wish I would've gotten this speach at my college graduation. Instead, my speaker ended up talking about how he got scholarships to play football and how traditional business is great. Deep down, I bet he just wished he had a office with a lock so he could take a nap.

The BJ :: 6-year-olds can learn 10 life lessons

(joe :: Life Lessons)

Home :: Food :: Booze
Caffeine :: Shopping :: Arts
Events Calendar