RubberBuzz || Akron Unleashed: Ronald McDonald

6.23.2005

Ronald McDonald

Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday I know I'm in for a treat. Those are the days when David Giffels' articles show up in The BJ. I know I've said it before and I'll undoubtedly say it again, I love me some David Giffels. Today's article was no exception to my gush of love and random laughing fits.

Ronald McDonald, looking all buff and energetic, is dressed in new soccer clothes and frolicking with fruits and vegetables.

All-beef patties have given way to beefcake; sesame seed buns are replaced with buns of steel.[...]

Ronald McDonald turned 42 this year. As an American male, he has reached an agonizing age: not yet old, but no longer young. And his corporate parents have endowed him with a midlife crisis. The only thing missing is a little red ponytail and a fling with Swiss Miss.

That yellow-and-red jogging suit can scarcely hide the angst.

So while we're on the topic of McDonald's, was I the only one bothered by the FryGuys? They were those mop-like puppets that jumped out of shrubs and ate your fries. I was bothered that they weren't fry colored. The Chicken McNuggets looked like nuggets, so why weren't the FryGuys more fry-like? Or why didn't they make fries that matched the FryGuys? Kids wouldn't snacked on some green and blue fries while they screwed around in Playland. It would've been so cool.

The BJ :: Chain icon deserves a break today

(joe :: Ronald McDonald)

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