RubberBuzz || Akron Unleashed: Cleveland's Jab at Rebecca Ryan

7.08.2005

Cleveland's Jab at Rebecca Ryan

Cleveland wants to help Akron be younger and hipper! The Plain Dealer's Minister of Culture Michael Heaton has some suggestions that make Rebecca Ryan's crazy suggestions seem, well, crazier. Here are some of his suggestions:

Back in 1973, the Rolling Stones played the Akron Rubber Bowl. Mick Jagger came onstage looking slightly dazed. He asked the crowd where he was. He squinted and looked at the sign above the stadium.

"Ak-kron," he uttered, suggesting that the strange name gave him no better idea where he was than if the place had been called Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong or Cock-a-Doodle-Doo. So I think we can start right there with a little name tuneup.[...]

Beyond the production of tires, what is Akron really known for? Punk rock. Am I right? So Akron's new name becomes Punk Rock City, U.S.A. Can you dig it?

It's cool, isn't it? Then you bring in hometown sweetheart Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders and make her mayor. I think even current Mayor Don Plusquellic would step down when he sees the wisdom of this move. She is one tough chick who takes no guff.

Next, if you want to attract young people, you have to introduce progressive new laws that would really offer benefits that young and cool people couldn't find elsewhere. You legalize gay marriage and marijuana for starters. Free parking - everywhere - for an other. You subsidize a recording studio, a huge one that encourages bands to re cord for free, with a percentage of record sales going back to the city.

It makes opening up a few new bars seem really petty. Check out the rest of the article.

The Plain Dealer :: Inflating Akron's hipper image calls for professional hot air

(joe :: Cleveland's Jab at Rebecca Ryan)

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