RubberBuzz || Akron Unleashed: March 2005

3.31.2005

Thief S.O.L.

The BJ is a never ending supply of humor to me. I mean who else will let me know that some stupid criminal stole a bag of dog poo?

Beacon Journal :: Thief steals poop from woman walking dog

(joe :: Thief S.O.L.)

3.30.2005

Waste Land

One of my neighbors recently changed the battery in his car and then promptly left the old battery in the parking lot. Nice, eh? I wish I'd known about Earth 911 at the time. Just type in your zip and you'll get a list of environmental resources including local services & programs. It gives you info on where to take all sorts of items, from newspapers to cell phones, to be recycled. There are also tips on energy conservation, green shopping tips and much more. Check it out:

Earth 911 :: Ohio

(Mia :: Waste Land)

The Idea of Cool

Everyone is talking about Akron "being cool" after a big article & this editorial in Sunday's BJ:

Akron isn't L.A.? Glad you noticed

Joe has already offered his opinion and now it's my turn. Here's what I agreed with Giffels on: "Being cool means being confident, and confidence means never having to say you're cool." (later in his editorial, he then tells us what makes Akron cool... way to be confident.) and "Obviously Akron is in a different league than Los Angeles. Not so obvious is that's exactly what we should be embracing."

Yeah, so Akron = L.A. = Never Gonna Happen. Also, L.A. = Cool = Never Gonna Happen. I hate to tell y'all but I have been to L.A. the only thing "cool" about it is the fact that you can wear flip flops all year round. And there's not much we can do about that here. Anyway, as a young person who already lives here, I think the only way Akron will ever achieve "coolocity" is to step up and innovate. I'm not gonna pretend to have all the answers but here are some things that have peeked my interest:

Falls looks into going wireless citywide - If you're serious about revitalizing the downtown area then add free Wi-Fi. The university already has a wireless campus. Strike a deal, split the cost, get downtown businesses involved... just do whatever you have to do to get downtown wireless.

Summit blueprints its future - The Department of Community and Economic Development is asking some interesting questions to create a "blueprint" that would improve Summit County communities. I hope Akron pays attention.

County Director of Development Joe Migliorini said the general plan will enhance zoning and master plans in communities that have them and provide guidance in areas where no such plans exist. If implemented successfully, the plan could aid economic development, preserve green spaces, encourage historical preservation, control traffic congestion, improve local water quality and utilities and help control sprawl.

Cleveland tech czar offering carrots to entice companies - Cleveland wants to create a "strong, centralized base" of tech businesses and they aren't afraid to steal them. Akron is at risk of losing their promising businesses to Cleveland if they don't step up. I don't know much about Akron small business programs or incentives (or if they even exist) and that's the problem. The city needs to promote existing SB programs & create new ones to stay competitive.

I can think of a few more things right off the top of my head but this post is getting outta hand. So I'll save it for another day. My point is that Akron needs more than new bars and old blimps to make it cool...

(Mia :: The Idea of Cool)

The Amazing Race is Still On?!?!

I thought The Amazing Race was yanked after its first amazingly crappy season, but I guess I was totally wrong. Anyways, it appears that the show has reached it's Northeastern Ohio quota for the year. The competing couple from Youngstown was the last cross the finish line in Botswana.

Beacon Journal :: Ohio couple lose out on 'Amazing Race'

(joe :: The Amazing Race is Still On?!?!)

How to be a Federline 102

In this installment, we delve into being a cheating bastard. Federline wannabes, here is your new assignment. After marrying your boss and maybe getting her pregnant, go to Vegas, smelling oh so wonderfully, with a professional "escort." Make sure the press follows you around so Richard Johnson over at Page Six can write something about your wild life.

"At one point, [Vanessa Hulihan] was sitting on his lap," one onlooker tells the mag. ". . . he was sliding his hand between her thighs." Federline and Hulihan "hung out" all weekend, Us [Weekly] says, and he "refused to answer Britney's phone calls. He's been telling friends he doesn't want her to have his baby."

Oh, and be sure to get quoted, too. Something like "If I ever get a divorce, I want to move to Vegas," would be perfect.

Page Six :: Bye-Bye Brit

(joe :: How to be a Federline 102)

3.29.2005

Undisclosed Illness

"Reverend" Jerry Falwell is back in the hospital. I bet it is his inner gay trying to break free.

CNN.com :: Jerry Falwell back in hospital

(joe :: Undisclosed Illness)

10 - 3 = 7 Point Scale

Consistency in Akron Public Schools? Why would anyone want that?

It may soon become tougher to get an "A" in the Akron Public Schools.

Students would need to score 93 to 100 percent to get this top grade under a proposed uniform grading system being considered by the board of education.

In some Akron schools, 90 to 100 percent now represents an "A," with the lower grades following in 10-percentage-point increments. Other buildings are already on the tougher scale, with 7-percentage-point steps from one letter grade to the next.

Now comes a new section I like to call: You're Wrong, I'm Right!

First up, Linda Kersker:

Board member Linda Kersker said she is afraid the tougher scale would put Akron students at a "competitive disadvantage.""

Linda, you're right if by "competitive disadvantage" you mean that students from APS would have learned to work harder and not strive for mediocrity.

Next, Rebecca DiDonato Heimbaugh:

Rebecca DiDonato Heimbaugh, another board member, said she is concerned about how certain students would do under the proposed scale. She noted, for example, that the board previously adopted a minimum grade-point-average for students to participate in athletics.

"I do not want to discourage students," she said.

Oh, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca. School is for learning, not basketball. Suck it up and deal.

Finally, Fred Schuett:

Fred Schuett, Akron's director of secondary education, said colleges look at districts' grading scales when evaluating student applications. He said students currently earning a "C" on the 10-point scale -- a 70 to 79 -- would likely be unable to pass the new Ohio Graduation Test required for graduation.

"How do you explain that a student who can get through the APS can't get through the proficiency test?" he asked.

Umm... hmm. Actually, he's right. If an average Akron student can't pass the state test, maybe it is time to change what being an average Akron student means.

Beacon Journal :: Akron schools to settle the score

(joe :: 10 - 3 = 7 Point Scale)

3.28.2005

The Last One

This is my last post on Terri Schiavo. I think we're doing her an injustice by making her the center of this debate that seems to grow more heated by the minute. But at least we know she is loved. People on both sides of this issue truly love Terri and only want to do what they think is best for her. Then there are the narrow-minded people.

And while [David] Gibbs told CBS that Bush "has done everything he can" and has "been a real friend to the Schindler family," [Randall] Terry harshly criticized the governor. "What kind of man sits in the governor's mansion that would let a woman starve like this, who is clinging to life and crying out to be saved?" Terry asked.

I have an answer for Mr. Terry. How about every Governor in the United States. We have millions of homeless and starving individuals in the nation. In the past few weeks we all have spent countless hours following the story, Congress has had emergency sessions, and the court's resources have been drained. We do this to determine Terri's fate, all the while millions of children starve, too. We could have used that time to help save the people we all can agree need saving, the homeless and starving, instead we dedicate our time to following Terri's story because it is the hot political topic of the day.

I know RubberBuzz has a reputation as being snarky, but even we have a soft side.

CNN.com :: Fight over Terri Schiavo moves to Washington

(joe :: The Last One)

Finger Foods

Yet another reason why I'm vegetarian.

"Suddenly something crunchy was in my mouth," she told the Mercury News, "and I spit it out."

What she spit out was a an inch-and-a-half long finger tip, with a longish, nicely groomed nail.

Eww.

Beacon Journal :: Coroner unsure if finger cooked or placed in chili bowl later

(joe :: Finger Foods)

Average Akron

And the final score is...

Greater Akron scored four out of 10 in social capital and five out of 10 in after hours. Four is the national average on [Rebecca] Ryan's patented "handprint" of coolness.

Really? Akron is average? We scored that high? The rest of America must really suck.

Beacon Journal :: When measuring cool, Akron average

(joe :: Average Akron)

Veggies-R-Us

The Vegetarian User's Guide is up. We'll keep updating this as we visit new, vegetarian-friendly places around Akron.

(joe :: Veggies-R-Us)

3.27.2005

Holiday Shopping

Everyone I know is getting the FOXBlocker for Chrismukkah this year. The FOXBlocker, designed to block Fox News from corrupting the minds of innocent children everywhere.

Protect yourself and your family, or send one to a misguided right wing friend.

Priced at JUST $8.95, the FOXBlocker is a wonderful way of telling the advertisers at FOX News that you are no longer interested in being exposed to right wing propaganda.

With every order placed, FOXBlocker.com will send an e-mail in your name to the TOP 10 advertisers at FOX News letting them know that yet another subscriber has opted out of FOX News. With a little luck and a lot of volume, we can shut the FOX up!

Genius, pure genius.

The Seattle Times :: Device lets you out-Fox your TV

(joe :: Holiday Shopping)

I'm a Wacko... I mean... Warrior

Finally, something funny to post from Michael Jackson.

"None of these stories are true. They are totally fabricated. It's very sad, it's very, very painful. I pray a lot. That's how I deal with it, and I'm a strong person. I'm a warrior, and I know what is inside of me. I'm a fighter, but it's very painful at the end of the day. I'm still human, you know. I'm still a human being, so it does hurt very, very, very much."

Thanks, MJ. We're all very, very, very excited to see what you'll do/say next.

Oh, and Michael, we're still waiting for a response.

CNN :: Jackson: 'I'm a warrior'; ordeal is painful

(joe :: I'm a Wacko... I mean... Warrior)

Smoke-free After Hours

The Country Diner and the Smoking Section, two phrases that often go hand in hand in my mind. But not for long. Starting May 1, your after-beer pancakes will be smoke-free.

This sparks the logical question, is Akron on it's way to becoming smoke-free? As a non-smoker, I like the idea of being able to go out to the bars and come home not smelling like stale smoke. Some people say that enacting non-smoking laws would break the local bar business, but LA and NYC have done it, so why not Akron? But then again, Akron's not LA.

Beacon Journal :: Diner joins smoke-free restaurant list

(joe :: Smoke-free After Hours)

Our Blimp Filled Skyscape

Akron is on the verge of a total remarketing of itself with a hip new image to encourage young professionals to stick around and not head to other cities. Being a trend setter, I've ended up with some strong opinions on this topic and they all come down to Akronites learning to think outside of the box they've grown accustomed to. Some people, however, want Akron to strive for mediocrity.

The comment that most tickled my fancy came from a young man transplanted here from Los Angeles. From his vantage point at the downtown nightclub Fuel, Leroy Hughes compared Akron's nightlife to that of L.A.

"This is cool for Akron," he said, "but it's a dive in other metropolitan areas."

Which may be true, but also misses an important point. Obviously Akron is in a different league than Los Angeles. Not so obvious is that's exactly what we should be embracing.

What makes Akron cool is that blimps are part of our skyscape and sauerkraut balls are part of our cuisine and the O'Neils window displays are the kind of insider nostalgia that everyone seems to share. If we're going to become a magnet, the challenge will be to portray that uniqueness without slipping into parody.

David Giffels has totally missed the point. Akron is trying to be young and hip right now. We're hemorrhaging talent to other areas that offer more then blimps and deep fried kraut. Akron isn't L.A., but maybe Akron needs to think a little more like La La Land and a bit less like a second fiddler to Cleveland.

Beacon Journal :: Akron isn't L.A.? Glad you noticed

(joe :: Our Blimp Filled Skyscape)

3.26.2005

Insert Witty Meth Comment Here

Summit County: Still the highest county around!

West Side Leader :: Methamphetamine lab legislation debuts at County Council

(joe :: Insert Witty Meth Comment Here)

3.25.2005

Caffeine Bust

Some crazy kids were stupid and took too many caffeinated mints which landed nine of them in the hospital. Now, the kid who brought the mints to school is suspended for ten days.

[The] mother of the suspended teen, said she bought the Blast Energy Supplemints at a drugstore. She said her son took the mints from her purse without her knowledge.

Cheryl Haschak, superintendent of the Jackson school district, said the suspension was for violating the school's ban on drugs, which covers drug-free items that look like pills.

So are kids also suspended for bringing in Red Bull or Dr. Pepper? I understand where the school is coming from by banning pills, but caffeine is totally legal. These mints are totally legal. And is suspension, ten days without school, really a punishment? How about making students go to school an extra ten days; that would be a real punishment.

Beacon Journal :: Mints with caffeine get boy suspended

(joe :: Caffeine Bust)

New Steps for the Courthouse

Since we might be getting new steps, can we get the ones from Rocky? That would rock.

Beacon Journal :: Grant could rebuild stairs

(joe :: New Steps for the Courthouse)

3.24.2005

I love Moby

From Moby's Journal:

again, i don't want to get drawn into the Terry Schiavo debate.
it makes me sad and uncomfortable that politicians have taken this incredibly personal and tragic story and turned it into a political football. but listening to a lot of the rhetoric coming from the extreme right makes me hope that some modern day jonathan swift will write a book/script wherein it becomes illegal to die. maybe a good title would be 'chamber of jains'.
i do marvel(in a bad way)at the fact that politicians who are interested in protecting the sanctity of life would pass legislation to keep a profoundly brain-damaged woman alive at the same time that kids have legal access to guns and are shooting each other to death in public schools.
my note to the far-right would be: you can't have it both ways. if you genuinely believe in the sanctity of life then you cannot support the death penalty and you cannot allow people to buy automatic assault weapons and you cannot support wars that result in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people. and if you genuinely believe in states rights then you can't pass intrusive federal legislation when the states do things that you arbitrarily disagree with.
sorry to be back on politics, but this issue is very disturbing.
-moby

Amazingly, he took my exact emotions and put them in words.

(joe :: I love Moby)

It's all about us

The About Us section is complete. Go there and learn about those who entertain you.

(joe :: It's all about us)

3.23.2005

What? There's Art in Akron?

The Akron Art Directory is online. These are the only ones I could find, so if there are more, let us know and we'll add them.

(joe :: What? There's Art in Akron?)

NetSpeak

OMG! can u believe that some ppl think that blogs are destroying english because it is written the same way we speak irl? ROFL! IMHO, the web lets us communicate more effectively, or in the case of RubberBuzz, it lets us make fun of things more effectively. ;-) ttyl.

KRT Wire :: 'Netspeak' doing more good to English language, experts say

(joe :: NetSpeak)

Hopping Down the Evil Bunny Trail

I've always wondered if the suited people in the mall ever get really pissed off at people. Well, my question's been answered.

Michael J. Desantiago Sr., 36, of Council Bluffs, was arrested Saturday at the Mall of the Bluffs where he had a job dressed as the Easter Bunny. He told officers he became upset when someone threw water and other items at him, police said.

Desantiago left the area, changed clothes and came back to tell a fellow employee he was leaving. The employee told police that Desantiago "got up in her face and started to yell at her."

I just wish this guy would have been in his bunny suit when he was yelling.

AP Wire :: 'Easter Bunny' arrested for harassment

(joe :: Hopping Down the Evil Bunny Trail)

3.21.2005

Signs of the Apocalypse

Oh my God, this is crazy! This never happens! What can this mean? It's the Apocalypse! The Arts section has been updated.

(joe :: Signs of the Apocalypse)

Satan Turtle vs. Jesus and Mary Pretzel

If you could only convince an certain internet casino that this turtle has Jesus on his shell, I'm sure he'd find a good home.

AP Wire :: 'Satan' said to appear on turtle's shell

(joe :: Satan Turtle vs. Jesus and Mary Pretzel)

The Arts are Alive in Akron

You know that giant cockroach on the side of TNT Exterminating over in Northside? John Comunale made it. He also crafted a giant catfish on the corner of Furnace and Howard. His latest creation is a huge kangaroo to go outside of the McDonald's on East Exchange. Check out the Beacon's interview with him.

Beacon Journal :: Akron sculptor shows his creative mettle

(joe :: The Arts are Alive in Akron)

3.19.2005

R/E Nightclub Update

I finally went to R/E's Happy Hour, and boy I was surprised. This is a definite must for all of those in Akron despirit for a 32 oz. Long Island Ice Tea. Check out the update here.

(joe :: R/E Nightclub Update)

An Open Letter to Phestur

Dear Phestur Drummer (aka Scott),

Eat a fucking burrito or put your damn shirt on.

Your friends,

The RubberBuzz Staff

(joe :: An Open Letter to Phestur)

3.18.2005

RubberBuzz en Espanol

I didn't know Akron had a large Spanish population. According to the real actual paper (not the online version) there are about 6,000 Akronites who speak Spanish at home. With more and more specialty shops opening up to meet the needs of these people, this is a kick ass way to expose yourself to real Latin food. In college, I was lucky enough to befriend my Spanish Prof. She used to make killer food and introduced me to new stores and markets. Now I can try to recreate that here in Akron.

And what's this? A new way for RubberBuzz to cater to the people of Akron? Look for a Spanish section and/or User's Guide in the near future.

Beacon Journal :: Region acquiring Latin flavor

(joe :: RubberBuzz en Espanol)

3.16.2005

Thinking Before Drinking...

Or how to survive St. Patrick's Day without a STD or DUI...

First up, some brave soul at Slate.com recently had a lotta sex and took notes in order to review the best condoms on the market. The rubber verdict: Pleasure Plus and Trojan Supra are the highest ranked. So go pick some up before you meet "the *insert sex of choice here* of your dreams" while celebrating the Irish tomorrow, m'kay?

Rubber Match - Which condom is best?

As for the avoiding the DUI, just don't drink and drive morons... it's like the drinkiest day of the year and don't think the cops aren't watching. I suggest a cab and to save you the trouble of drunkenly fingering the phonebook, here are some numbers to write down and take with you:

City Yellow Cab: 330-253-3141 or 330-253-2131
Falls Cab Company: 330-929-3121

And last but not least (and really because I don't have time to write a seperate post): if you happen to run into Val Kilmer in the bathroom on your St. Drinking Day I suggest trying a line from Real Genius... which is far superior to Top Gun.

Val Humours Fan In Urinals

(Mia :: Thinking Before Drinking...)

Yet Another Reason Why Akron is Great

I decided to break tradition and not do a snarky post. Akron is a great city because there are people like Jackie Figler. For years, Jackie has served as Executive Director of the Violet Cupboard, which provides services to people living with HIV and AIDS. As she prepares for retirement, we can learn from her spirit and willingness to take on insurmountable challenges.

Figler was on the HIV/AIDS battlefield in the early years, when the most that could be done was to help the patient die with dignity and help stamp out the fear and ignorance of the disease that was so rampant and vile.

Talk about a great role model for us all.

Beacon Journal :: Good work at Violet's Cupboard

(joe :: Yet Another Reason Why Akron is Great)

Akron's future may be at stake tonight!

Mia and I are trend setters and we didn't even know it. The Greater Akron Chamber is holding its annual meeting tonight and on tap for discussion is how to get and keep young professionals in Akron. Akron is stuck between a rock and a hard-place, or more accurately, between a capital and a lake. Being stuck between Columbus and Cleveland has given Akron residence an easy opportunity to leave and never come back. Now Akron wants to take its reputation as a dead end city and turn it around. And how are they going to do that? A yuppie invasion.

We love Akron, if we didn't we wouldn't make fun of it (You don't see us blogging about Painseville now do you?). But now when people ask why I love Akron, I can say "Because I love being a trend setter," instead of my usual response of "I just like the blimp."

Beacon Journal :: Akron's future may be at stake tonight

(joe :: Akron's future may be at stake tonight!)

How to be a Federline 101

For all of those Federline want-to-bes out there, we're putting together a do it yourself guide on how to be a Federline. This week's lesson is all about how you smell, or more accurately how bad you smell. All you need to do is go to Vegas for 4 days, and while you're there, don't shower or brush your teeth! Accourding to Kevin's pre-Brittney girlfriend Amy Wood, this was how Kevin had a good time.

"It wasn't only his armpits," she says, "his feet were awful too." Amy goes on to claim that Kevin never used deodorant. "I'm holding my nose just thinking about how bad he smelled," she says. And a friend of Kevin's ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson, 28 -- mother of his two children, Kori, 2, and seven-monthold Kaleb -- seconds that noxious notion. "Kevin would often go several days without taking a shower or bath," says the friend. "It was gross."

Next week, how to marry your boss.

Star :: Kevin's Dirty Little Secret!

(joe :: How to be a Federline 101)

3.15.2005

Drug Lab Clean-ups

Summit County: The high point of Ohio.

West Side Leader :: County looks into drug lab clean-up standards

(joe :: Drug Lab Clean-ups)

Ben & Jerry: Mixing Business and Ice Cream

Last night, Mia and I headed over to see Ben & Jerry of Ice Cream fame speak about their business (really we went for the free ice cream at the end). Ben, if you don't know, is really into political activism, in particular with MoveOn.org. The evening became, more or less, a Bush-bashing speech. There was this old guy a few seats down from me who was obviously very Republican and he was getting so mad. You could see him getting redder and redder by the minute, then he started mumbling under his breath. It was so hard not to laugh, but I didn't want to get kicked out and lose my chance at some free Cherry Garcia.

(joe :: Ben & Jerry: Mixing Business and Ice Cream)

3.14.2005

Skunk Cabbage is Fun! No Really.

Supposedly it's fun to go and hunt for skunk cabbage in the snow! I don't know about you, but if I went in out in hunt of skunk cabbage, I'd come home smelling like a skunk. Or even more likely, I'd be covered in poison ivy.

Westside Leader :: Hunting for skunks cabbage in CVNP

(joe :: Skunk Cabbage is Fun! No Really.)

3.13.2005

An Open Letter to Michael Jackson

Dear Mr. Jackson,

Can you please do something crazy this week? I mean, last week you wore pajamas to court, how are you going to top that? This is supposed to be along case and I don't want all of the fun things to have already happened. In case you're out of ideas, I have prepared some for you. I think you'd make a great impression on the judge and jury if you came into the courtroom wearing your outfit from the Bad video. You could stir things up in the media by hiring Macaulay Culkin as your new legal council. For you testimony, I think you should prepare a new song and halfway through the first chorus, you could break into dance and by the end you'd have the entire courtroom doing a choreographed routine with people bursting through the courtroom doors riding elephants and llamas. The jury would really like the entertainment and so would we. And you don't need to pay us for these great ideas, we know you're a little low on cash, but a case of Jesus Juice is always appreciated.

-The RubberBuzz Team

(joe :: An Open Letter to Michael Jackson)

3.11.2005

ExerSaucer Bike

Okay, so Americans are fat. We need to improve our health and the youth of this nation, who are not immune to fat, need to do so as well. Blah, blah, blah. But little kids in health clubs?

Children 6 to 11 make up 4 percent of total health club memberships, and those 12 to 17 make up 8 percent.

"It's definitely a very solid trend and probably will continue to grow,'' said spokeswoman Brooke McInnis of the industry organization. "Health clubs are marketing to children. There is a demand.''

Next thing you know we'll have babies in ExerSaucer Bikes working off their baby fat.

Beacon Journal :: Health clubs no longer adults-only

(joe :: ExerSaucer Bike)

What to do this Weekend

Friday night is a great night for an evening in Highland Square. Head over to Aladdin's with a friend or group and order a bunch of dishes with names you can't pronounce. Communal eating here is a great way to try a bunch of different Middle Eastern dishes. After dinner walk down to Revival and Square Records for some retro goods. Then celebrate the end of the workweek with a few drinks at Annabelle's or The Bucket.

For a Saturday night date, how about an night out in Downtown Akron. Head over to Fuel Lounge for a bottle of wine and get a free appetizer that compliments your wine selection. Once your pinot grigio is gone, head over to Bricco for some great Italian cuisine and more wine. After dinner, be sure to avoid Posh like the bubonic plague. Try going over to Jillian's and pretend like you know how to play pool.

For a totally different Saturday, get ready for St. Pat's Day a little bit early. Head over to Kevin O'Bryan's for some pub grub and music live Irish music from The Five Points Band. After your warm-up pints, continue your inebriation at Brubaker's Pub while still avoiding Posh like the plague.

(joe :: What to do this Weekend)

3.10.2005

And They Shall Be Called Brulo

To post or not to post... this was the question I asked all day. But then I realized that Akron needs it's celebrity gossip as much as NY or LA. So, here is my favorite bit of the day (courtesy of Page Six)...

ACTION hero Bruce Willis got some action of a different kind after the screening of his new blood-and-guts flick, "Hostage." At an after-after-party at the Peninsula Hotel early yesterday, Willis, who turns 50 this month, and teen queen Lindsay Lohan, 18, enjoyed a mutual gropefest. "At one point, Bruce had Lindsay's pants down far enough to reveal a tattoo that said 'La Bella Vista' (The Beautiful View) on her right cheek," says our spywitness. Eventually, Willis and a few friends, including Lohan, took the party upstairs to his suite.

Lindsay Lohan + Bruce Willis? I hope against hope that this is true because Brulo would kick Bennifer's ass. But it has to be true cause it's in Page Six and I mean, they have spywitnesses people.

(Mia :: And They Shall Be Called Brulo)

Jesus Juice and Jammies

You really can't ask for better news then this. First, Jacko is an hour late to court and the judge threatens with to arrest him and revoke his bond. At the last moment, Jackson shows up wearing his p.j.'s and suit jacket. Then while on the stand Jacko's accuser said Jackson gave him wine and called it "Jesus Juice." We don't call it Jesus Juice here at RubberBuzz; we call it "Religious-Figure-of-Your-Choice Juice" so we don't offend anyone. Only one thing could have made today better: if Jackson's pajamas had puppies on them. Maybe next time.

MyWay.com :: Jackson Trial Resumes After Arrest Threat

(joe :: Jesus Juice and Jammies)

Rubber Pays... The CEO

Next year... his own private blimp:

Goodyear CEO earns nearly $10 million

Update (3/11/05): Maybe he'll have to wait a little longer for his blimp.

Goodyear CEO pay mischaracterized

(Mia :: Rubber Pays... The CEO)

Thursday's Lounge Reviewed

Hey RubberBuzzers, check out our review of Thursday's Lounge. We love this New Wave Paradise, read more and see why.

(joe :: Thursday's Lounge Reviewed)

Internet casino buys 'Virgin Mary' pretzel

This is amazing. An internet casino purchased a honey mustard Rold Gold pretzel for $10,600 on e-Bay. If you hold this pretzel at the right angle it looks like a deformed Virgin Mary. If anyone's interested, I have potato chip that looks like a deformed Elvis. I'm only asking 5 grand for that one...

Ohio.com :: Internet casino buys 'Virgin Mary' pretzel

(joe :: Internet casino buys 'Virgin Mary' pretzel)

Golden Blimp Sponsor of $1 or Less

And the honor goes to... Jack Ricchiuto!

Sometimes the things you're dreading end up much better then you can ever hope. Yesterday, I took a class at the U of A only to the youngest and most inexperienced in my one day Project Management class. Jack led the class and ended up being a fun guy. To all you yuppies out there, if you ever need a Continuing Education class, consider one from Jack.

(joe :: Golden Blimp Sponsor of $1 or Less)

3.08.2005

Getting Slammed by Verizon

Wow! The FCC totally should have picked a better word then "slamming" to describe this phenomenon, but they didn't so I get to say "slammed" a lot. Basically, this lady is pissed off because she got "slammed" and couldn't receive calls from outside her local carrier because two different phone companies claimed to own her number. Personally, I think this lady is a little nutty. Think about it. No more calls from telemarketers, no more relatives asking "Do you still like your job?," and no more calls from collection agencies. Man, I really want slammed, don't you?

Westside Leader :: Copley Resident Warns of Slamming Practices

(joe :: Getting Slammed by Verizon)

3.07.2005

Saving our Corn

Firestone built a bomb shelter way back when and now it's used to store veggies. I really hope they're storing corn or potatoes down there. I mean, if I had a bomb shelter I'd secure those vegetables before all the others. I'd make sure cauliflower was left out for the fallout. Burn, cauliflower, burn!

Beacon Journal :: In case of attack

(joe :: Saving our Corn)

3.01.2005

Woot! More Posts!

Yay! Mia is posting with me now! Alright, I got a bunch of stuff for y'all. First up, we make fun of Akron, but it's all in fun. To show that we really do know a bit about Akron, we've got a quasi-History. * Wow, that felt way to educational. To make up for that bit of intelect, let me dumb down the world with our new game: Bar-Hopper Bingo! I came up with it when I was doing my review of Downtown Akron's Bricco. For my last post, I've put the a R/Eview of R/E Nightclub.

*Note: Dear 12 year olds reading this, We are not a reliable source to use for your history projects.

(joe :: Woot! More Posts!)

Who's This & What's She Reviewing?

So, who is this "we" Joe is always talking about? I bet you started to think Joe had some sort of multiple personality disorder or something, right? He doesn't... he just has a kinda lazy partner-in-crime. But now I'm here and I've written a review!

Of what you ask? Why of that little resale boutique - Revival - located in Highland Square. And there's more to come. Soon. Really.

(Mia :: Who's This & What's She Reviewing?)

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