4.29.2005

(joe :: Cameras from Above)

(joe :: Longwinded Bush)

4.28.2005

Nickie Clegg was fed up with burglars invading her home, so on Tuesday night she and her pet beagle fought back.

Clegg and 1 1/2-year-old Brownie were determined not to let the latest thief get away. So when the burglar escaped through a second-story window and jumped off their roof on East Crosier Street, they gave chase.[...]

Clegg's sister-in-law, 16-year-old Jessica Smallwood, joined the pursuit. She grabbed a knife from Clegg's kitchen for protection.

With the family closing in on him, the suspect ducked into a trash bin at Baird and Grant streets. Clegg and her sidekicks called police and kept an eye on him until officers arrived.[...]

Clegg said her home has been burglarized seven times in the last several weeks.

(joe :: Puppy Power)

Participants debated the limits of gambling, the strength of opposition from key Republican leaders and Christian groups, and whether Gov. Bob Taft's anti-gambling stance is firm or flimsy.

There was consistent use of bus analogies -- as in busloads of gamblers leaving the state, the need to toss some people under the wheels of the bus to keep it moving, and what would happen if a key opponent happened to be hit by a bus.

(joe :: Gambling)

4.27.2005

(joe :: To Do: Buy a Tower)

Elmer Sapp, 78, and Alfred Hurd, 70, were hunting south of East Wenatchee on Monday when Hurd got out of a pickup truck and chased a bird down an embankment.

Sapp followed and found his hunting partner lying on the ground, according to Chelan County Sheriff Mike Harum. Sapp then went back to the pickup, flagged down a motorist, told the motorist what happened and then collapsed.

(joe :: Woods of Doom!)

4.26.2005

(joe :: Our BrewedFreshDaily.com Premiere)

A security guard at an apartment complex in southeast Fresno followed a trail of blood to a banging noise coming from the trunk in the early morning hours Sunday.

Authorities responding to the scene expected to find a victim, but instead discovered the burglar.[...]

Police said he cut himself on the door of another car he'd broken into, then trickled blood across the parking lot to the car he eventually locked himself inside.[...]

"He popped the trunk from the inside and crawled back there, ransacking every inch," Hernandez said. "But then he grabs the trunk to heave himself out and closes it on top of him. He's got to be the dumbest criminal of the day."

(joe :: Stupid Criminal!)

(joe :: Cold Pills)

(joe :: Cast Your Vote)

(joe :: The Cure for Suburbia)

4.25.2005

(joe :: An Open Letter to Rebbeca Ryan)

Being cool means being confident, and confidence means never having to say you're cool.

So this is the challenge that extends from the much-publicized work of consultant Rebecca Ryan, hired by the Greater Akron Chamber to help our area keep and attract more young people. Smart people will see right through any town's attempt to Pooch-ify itself, and they'll avoid it like the school kid who eats paste to get attention.

Experience Akron Through the Eyes of the Next Generation!

WHAT: Can You HANDle It? Akron's Next Generation Handprint - a street fair style open house

WHERE: Selle Generator Works Building
451 S. High Street (at Selle Street)
Downtown Akron

WHEN: Wednesday, May 18, 2005 5:30 - 8PM

• Restaurant and beverage booths, music, dancing, whiffle ball, public art project and more!
• An opportunity to network and socialize with Rebecca Ryan, America's leading authority on the next generation, and other young professionals.

WHY: Does Akron have what it takes to retain and attract young talent? Experience and explore the seven indexes that make up Akron's community handprint: social capital (that's talent, technology & inclusion), after hours, earning, vitality, around town, cost of lifestyle and learning, through the eyes of the next generation. Think party, not power point.

WHO:
Hosts:

• Young Professionals of Akron
• Art Cetera
• Torchbearers
• Akron JayCees

Sponsors:

• Next Generation Consulting - Rebecca Ryan
• Greater Akron Chamber
• Maddox Marketing
• Frontier Airlines
• Akron/Canton Airport
• Canal Town Builders - Selle Generator Works Building

Media Sponsor: WAPS 91.3 The Summit

This event if FREE and open to the public! NO RSVP is required.

(joe :: More "Cool" Akron Stuff)

(joe :: Jessie's Girl)

Hearts always beat a little faster when the new L'Uomo Vogue gets delivered to the fashion department, and the April edition was no exception. Who was this smouldering sex beast on the cover? Hang on a minute - it's Kevin Federline. Eew.

(joe :: How to be a Federline 105)

4.24.2005

(joe :: The Isolation Theory)

(joe :: Juice Pouch Purses)

(joe :: Thunderstorm Safety, Try Snow Safety)

4.23.2005

Rose Wilcher, whose company FreedomJournal.TV produced 24 shows that aired on Channel 15, has taken Time Warner and city leaders to federal court, claiming the rule changes amount to censorship. The defendants deny the change has anything to do with controlling content.

Wilcher's shows range from local and national politics to religion. Although she lives in Akron, some of her most popular programs, such as "Democracy Now!," are now off the air because they feature out-of-towners.

"There is a whole world outside of Akron and now they are saying I can't even go into the local suburbs with my camera," Wilcher said.

(joe :: Free Speech: Bringing Preachers and Porn Producers Together)

(joe :: April Snows Bring May... Hoes?)

4.22.2005

Gov. Bob Taft's plan to reform Ohio's tax system aims to make it cheaper to do business in the state. It would also make it one of the most expensive places in the country to tip back a cold one...

The beer and wine tax increases aren't the only hikes in the budget bill. The cigarette excise tax and energy consumption tax also stand to be raised. Also, funding to major programs like higher education are slated to be cut to pay for provisions like a 21 percent decrease in the personal income tax and a phaseout of the corporate franchise tax.

That's made it tougher to make the case against a beer tax hike -- even one that would make Ohio's beer tax the 10th highest in the country.

(joe :: The End Times)

(joe :: Earth Day)

4.21.2005

(joe :: YWCA Dissolved)

Jacob Clifton of Televisionwithoutpity.com called the performance "perfunctory" but with "some nice runs during the part at the end."

(joe :: Screw American Idol, Give Me TWoP!)

The conservative group Move America Forward dubbed the move "obstructionist conduct" and plans to launch a radio ad campaign against Voinovich today in Ohio...

The group is upset with Voinovich, who on Tuesday told members of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee that he wasn't comfortable voting on Bolton -- President Bush's pick for the job -- after concerns were raised about allegations of unbecoming conduct for a U.N. nominee.

The Move America Forward Web site says it is "strongly backing the nomination of John Bolton to serve as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations" and expressed "outrage today that a Republican United States Senator would refuse to vote to confirm the President's nominee in committee."

(joe :: In Praise of a... Republican?)

4.20.2005

Federline, an aspiring model, actor and singer, has reportedly been trying to sell the idea of another series chronicling his professional life as he records and promotes his first album.

No record deal has been announced, but Federline met with executives at US cable network E! Entertainment Television on 1 April (05), and pitched himself as the next Eminem, according to People magazine.

(joe :: How to be a Federline 104)

(joe :: UC Morons)

Nearly three-quarters of American Catholics say they are more likely to follow their own conscience on "difficult moral questions," rather than the teachings of Pope Benedict XVI, according to a new CNN/USA Today/Gallup Poll...

In addition, more than half of those polled, 56 percent, said they were bothered by the pope's opposition to birth control. Meanwhile, nearly three-quarters, 72 percent, said the age of the 78-year-old pope didn't bother them.

Daily Kos: "It's a great day to be a Nazi!"

Free Republic: "Ratzinger a Nazi? Don't believe it."

Metafilter: "Listen to that crowd. This is almost exciting as a Jobs keynote at Macworld."

Fucked Company: "This Pope will last 7 years, world ends in 2012."

(joe :: Will America Get Bene-Dicked by New Pope?)

(joe :: Downtown Veggies)

4.19.2005

"We saw an increasing gap from year to year. The cost of college and the financial resources for students were diverging," [President Tom] Chema said. "We knew we could stop the growth of the top line."

Surveys showed students were dropping out after their first year as the cold, hard reality of college costs dawned on them. The problem became especially acute if the student's grants diminished and they had to pay more out of pocket as school costs rose at the same time.

(joe :: Tuition Costs)

To some, he is the Catholic Church's intellectual salvation during a time of confusion and compromise. To others, he is an intimidating "Enforcer", punishing liberal thinkers, and keeping the Church in the Middle Ages.

Ratzinger has served for 20 years as John Paul II's chief theological adviser. As a young priest he was on the progressive side of theological debates but shifted to the right after the student revolutions of 1968. In the Vatican, he has been the driving force behind crackdowns on liberation theology, religious pluralism, challenges to traditional moral teachings on issues such as homosexuality, and dissent on such issues as women's ordination.

(joe :: Pope Benedict XVI)

According to the list - part of a draft planning document obtained by CQ Homeland Security - between now and 2011 DHS [Department of Homeland Security] expects to contend primarily with adversaries such as al Qaeda and other foreign entities affiliated with the Islamic Jihad movement, as well as domestic radical Islamist groups.

It also lists left-wing domestic groups, such as the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) and the Earth Liberation Front (ELF), as terrorist threats, but it does not mention anti-government groups, white supremacists and other radical right-wing movements, which have staged numerous terrorist attacks that have killed scores of Americans.

(joe :: DHS Leans Right)

(joe :: New Food Pyramid)

4.18.2005

(joe :: The Best Degrees for Grads)

(joe :: Posh Reviewed)

Not just anybody can say he has a slime-mold beetle named in his honor. But George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald H. Rumsfeld can.

Entomologists Quentin Wheeler and Kelly B. Miller, who recently had the task of naming 65 newly discovered species of slime-mold beetles, named three species after the president, vice president and defense secretary.

The monikers: Agathidium bushi Miller and Wheeler, Agathidium cheneyi Miller and Wheeler, and Agathidium rumsfeldi Miller and Wheeler.

(joe :: GOP: Now Smaller, Crunchier)

(joe :: Thanks to Our Readers)

4.15.2005

(joe :: Hotspot Updates)

"I grabbed the first thing that came to hand -- one of my garden gnomes -- and hurled it at him, and hit him," she recalled.

"He lay there and I began to scream. I went back into the kitchen and found a rolling pin in case he came down. I didn't want to break another gnome."

(joe :: Beating Off with Gnome)

Imagine attending a satisfying, enriching arts event, then having your boss reward your effort with time off from work.

That's the "work perk" behind Cleveland's Late Out, Late In, which encourages employees of participating businesses to patronize the city's weeknight arts scene. In return, they get to come to work two hours late the next morning. That doesn't mean they start two hours later and work two hours later; it's paid time off.

(joe :: Late Out, Late In)

Secretary of State J. Kenneth Blackwell on Thursday reversed an earlier mandate that limited counties to buying optical-scan voting machines. The catalyst was a deal with Diebold Inc. that will cost Ohio millions more than optical-scan machines would, but will put more voting machines with newer technology in precincts.

(joe :: Blast from the Electoral Past: Update)

4.14.2005

Ohio, with 11.45 million residents, retains its ranking as seventh largest state, but continues to lag badly in growth.

The Buckeye State's population increased by a paltry 105,871 or 0.9 percent since April 2000, ranking Ohio third from the bottom among the 50 states. The only states doing worse were West Virginia and North Dakota.

(joe :: Ohio Slips)

The infant son of King Mohammed VI was circumcised Thursday, and thousands of Moroccans also went through the procedure in a massive show of solidarity for the prince, a news agency reported. ...

Some 5,000 boys were circumcised in Casablanca, Morocco's largest city, and thousands more in other cities and towns, the official news agency MAP reported.

(joe :: Circumcision)

(joe :: Post-It Notes)

Blogs in existence in April 2005: 50.75 million worldwide

What follows is how I came up with the figure.

Multinational Blogging Services
Google: 8 million
according to Persus
MSN Spaces: 5 million
Persus + Scoble
Six Apart Live Journal/ TypePad/ MT: 8.2 million
from LJ 14Apr (6.8m) + SixApart claimed 1.2 million for MT and TypePad when it acquired LJ which was 5.3m at the time, allows for 200,000 conservative growth figure for MT and TypePad
Other hosted (US): 9 million
based on Persus study
WordPress: 250,000
at best an educated guess, over 100,000 downloads of WP 1.5 and 266,000 links to WordPress on Google
Other DIY: 100,000
again, an educated guess, and this would include CMS packages that are utilising blogging plugins

(joe :: We're One in 50 Million)

4.13.2005

(joe :: Downtown Akron User's Guide)

Star magazine is up to its old tricks, using their advanced tabloid mainframe to project what the hellspawn of white-trashy pop star/part-time waitress Britney Spears and white-trash-aspirational background-dancing inseminator extraordinaire Kevin Federline might look like. Unfortunately for the potential male offspring, that do rag is not a fashion accessory, it's the top of the poor tyke's head; removing it would expose his already massively-disadvantaged brain to the elements.

(joe :: Brit and K-Fed officially Having a Kid)

(joe :: How I'd Blow My Mega Millions)

97% of students in public high schools report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from their peers

53% of students report hearing homophobic comments made by school staff.

80% of lesbian, gay and bisexual youth report severe isolation problems. They experience social isolation, emotional isolation and cognitive isolation.

In a study of depression and gay youth, researchers found depression strikes homosexual youth four to five times more severely than their non-gay peers.

(joe :: Day of Silence)

4.12.2005

Some "rabble rousers" offered to sell the Cuyahoga Falls school board on the Internet over the weekend, with a starting bid price of one cent. ...

The "buy it now" price was $4.7 million -- the amount of the financially troubled district's deficit.

(joe :: Cuyahoga Falls School Board for Sale)

The Japanese watched the most television last year, clocking in a daily average of five hours.

Americans were second [4 hours and 28 minutes a day], followed by Argentinians and the Greeks, who consumed four hours and 25 minutes and four hours and four minutes, respectively.

(joe :: Joe's TV Schedule)

The foot-tall Jesus doll will be able to recite five Biblical verses at the push of button on its back, while the Moses doll will recite the Ten Commandments. The Mary doll will recite a long Bible verse.

Joshua Livingston, one of the original founders of Valencia, Calif.-based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co. has returned to the company to head its new Biblical doll unit, One2Believe.

... Livingston is Jewish. He said it doesn't seem strange to him selling the Jesus doll, though.

"I have a very open mind and believe people can have their own beliefs and religion," he said.

(joe :: Jesus! Only $24.99!)

"Generation Y," ... is "bringing [media] industries to their knees" by embracing IPod, TiVo and other technologies that allow unprecedented consumer choice, said Roger Bennett, co-founder of Reboot...

It may mean the rise of "orthodoxy a la carte," where, as with IPods and music, young Americans take a "mix and match" approach to religion, said Bill Galston, a domestic policy adviser in the Clinton administration.

The Reboot survey further found that Generation Y was "more liberal and progressive" than older generations, both in political leanings and on social issues such as homosexual "marriage" and immigration. Fifty-four percent of voters younger than 30 voted for Sen. John Kerry last year -- the only age group the Democratic presidential candidate carried, the study noted.

However, although many of these young Americans worry about getting good grades and finding work after school, their biggest concern is the solidly "moral" issue of nonmarital sex -- 35 percent of Generation Y members are "very worried" about "getting a sexually transmitted disease," the study noted.

(joe :: Gen Y: A Recap)

The 15-year-old Akron girl was bitten on Sunday afternoon by an adult beaver she found in a small creek at the end of Congo Street in Goodyear Heights. ...

Despite Brittany's pleas to save the animal, the beaver was killed. Its skull was shipped off by the Akron Health Department to determine whether the animal was rabid. ...

The Ohio Department of Health keeps track of animal bites, but there is no listing for beaver, said spokesman Kristopher Weiss. Such bites are listed under "other," he said.

(joe :: Beaver!!!)

4.11.2005

"I was very adamant in saying I was not sure," Jones said. "I don't recall anything about licking. ... I don't recall ever seeing any head licking."

(joe :: Oh How I Love the Jackson Trial)

(joe :: The Whole Dam Thing)

4.10.2005

(joe :: Pick Your Pontiff Pony)

"You learn to write good speeches by listening to good speeches," McGurn said, offering a look behind the scenes at a job that requires him to craft sentiments that will flow so naturally from Bush's lips that the president could not have expressed them better himself.

"When I write something now and read it to myself, I think I hear him saying it," McGurn said. "That's the goal. To capture his voice."

(joe :: Where Bushisms Begin)

Not all newspapers suffer from time-lapse problems. The 680 afternoon newspapers in this country found the pope's funeral to be perfect for their publication schedule.

Some Beacon Journal readers still pine for those days when their newspaper arrived in late afternoon, their impression being that the news was same-day and fresher. But that rarely was true. When the Beacon Journal switched to morning publication in 1987, one of the major objectives was to provide you with more timely news. After all, nearly everything in a typical afternoon newspaper comes from events that occur the previous day, forcing you to wait an extra 12 hours for that news.

(joe :: Print Pains)

(joe :: Heights Housing)

4.08.2005

Kermit the Frog claims it's not easy being green. Well, he should try being yellow.

When it comes to traffic lights, at least, green is good -- and yellow is the red-headed stepsignal.

(joe :: Frogs and Signals)

4.07.2005

Machine Error Gives Bush Extra Ohio Votes Nov 5, 11:56 AM (ET)
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - An error with an electronic voting system gave President Bush 3,893 extra votes in suburban Columbus, elections officials said.

Franklin County's unofficial results had Bush receiving 4,258 votes to Democrat John Kerry's 260 votes in a precinct in Gahanna. Records show only 638 voters cast ballots in that precinct.

Bush actually received 365 votes in the precinct, Matthew Damschroder, director of the Franklin County Board of Elections, told The Columbus Dispatch.

(joe :: Blast from the Electoral Past)

"Cars have been sitting out there for years, and we're sick and tired of looking at them," said the West Grayling Drive resident."

If this passes, this will keep Fairlawn as it was intended to be."

(Mia :: Fairlawn Residents Complain... About Everything.)

4.06.2005

Recyclable items are: all metal food and beverage cans, glass bottles and jars of any color, empty aerosol cans, aluminum trays and aluminum foil, rigid plastic bottles labeled No. 1 and No. 2, newspapers, magazines and cardboard.

(joe :: Recycle Stuff)

Jurors in the Michael Jackson case were overheard during a break in the trial mocking a 24-year old witness who claimed he was molested by Michael Jackson when he was 7 and 9-years old, sources claim.

Specifically, a Juror was overheard by two reporters [one from UK's SKY TV] saying, "Oh boo-hooo, Michael Jackson tickled me." That statement was followed by laughter from other Jurors.

The comment was also heard by a bailiff.

(joe :: Mocking MJ's Case)

Police considered filing charges against the boy until they tested the ingredients in the Blast Energy Supplemints, the Associated Press reported.

"We found no illegal substance whatsoever. Just caffeine," said Maj. Tim Escola.

School officials suspended the boy for 10 days because school policy prohibits anything that resembles a drug.

(joe :: Caffeine Bust: Update)

About 200 students left during a class change about 10:45 a.m., saying they were upset over the way teachers were notified they would lose their jobs.

"It's how they're handling it -- pulling our teachers out of the classroom, letting them cry," said Samantha Roberts, 17, one of the students who streamed out of a front entrance...

Falls police watched the demonstration. No arrests were made.

[Superintendent] Holland said the several students who were inciting others would be disciplined. There also may be sanctions for other demonstrators, he said.

(joe :: The Pink Slip)

At a time when Ohio is grappling with deep cuts to spending to avoid deficits, officials readily admit that efforts to collect sales taxes on out-of-state Internet and mail-order catalog purchases are failing miserably.

The number of taxpayers fessing up to buying items from the Web or catalogs has dropped since 2001, when the state began asking residents to pay the tax on their income tax returns.

(joe :: The "Evil" of Amazon)

4.05.2005

San Francisco based Blogs that mention candidates for local office that receive more than 500 hits may be forced to pay a registration fee and will be subject to website traffic audits.

(joe :: You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Blog)

(joe :: Welcome to Our Bloc)

According to a new survey from market research and consulting firms Harris Interactive and Witeck-Combs Communications, blog consumption habits of gay, lesbian and bisexual (GLB) adults differ from those of their heterosexual counterparts in the United States.

The survey found that gay people read blogs more often than their non-gay counterparts, with 27% of GLB adults frequently or occasionally seek out blogs versus 18% of heterosexual adults, and only 44% of GLB adults stating that they never read blogs as compared to 59% of heterosexual adults.

(joe :: Those Gays and Their Blogs)

In a bid to offer another take on her much-documented love life, the pop superstar and hubby Kevin Federline will topline their own unscripted series on UPN. After fierce competish from several other outlets, net has snapped up six episodes of the as-yet-untitled skein, which will document the story of the Spears-Federline courtship, engagement and wedding.

UPN is wasting no time putting the series together, planning to premiere the skein before the current season ends next month.

(joe :: How to be a Federline 103)

4.04.2005

The acrobat's steel skates glinted in the spotlight as he steadied himself on a 3/8-inch wire about 50 feet above the crowd. The taut cable made a steep descent from theater balcony to orchestra pit...

Near the halfway point, the audience exhaled. Cheers rippled below. The crowd burst into applause. By the time Lowther hit bottom and skated onstage, the roar was deafening.

The Akron man's famous ``Slide for Life'' routine dazzled audiences around the globe. As world roller-skating champion, Lowther never failed to impress.

(joe :: Roller-skating)

1. Gas Prices: $2.34 a gallon. Do I really need to say anymore?


2. Snow in April: Snow sucks and so does losing power. And where was ODOT Saturday night? I guess the plows come off the trucks on the first of April.


3. Swiss Guards: The Vatican City has crazy guards dressed in blue, yellow and red. If they were in a battle they'd be an easy target.

   Dressed in colorful regalia, the Swiss Guards (Cohors Helvetica) have been faithfully guarding the pope for over 500 years. Although the guards may look like court jesters, they are actually highly-skilled fighters and represent the some of the best soldiers Switzerland has to offer.

   I thought the Swiss were neutral.


4. Gilmore Girls: Hey WB, what's going on with Luke and Lorelai? I need new episodes, but you keep giving me crap. I can't take re-runs anymore. Give me something new and find a way to write Rori off the show!

(joe :: News-less Day)

4.03.2005

In the middle of last summer, Joe Abraham was sweating. And it had nothing to do with the heat.

The 2004 graduate of Baldwin-Wallace College had sent resumes to dozens of companies large and small -- many of them not even in his chosen field of computer programming. "I had a degree and I was afraid I'd never be able to use it," he said.

(joe :: My First BJ Article)

It's a good thing Rocky Balboa didn't train in Summit County. Otherwise, we'd have a climactic scene where the gritty contender comes puffing through the city streets, gaining confidence, making his euphoric break toward the courthouse steps and -- pulling up short.

Poor Rocky would stand there, like the rest of us do, staring at the public edifice from High Street and wondering how to get to it.

(joe :: Stealing My Thunder)

4.01.2005

(joe :: American Idol Finalist's Ohio Ties)

Commentator and former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan cut short an appearance after an opponent of his conservative views doused him with salad dressing.

"Stop the bigotry!" the demonstrator shouted as he hurled the liquid Thursday night during the program at Western Michigan University.

After he was hit, Buchanan cut short his question-and-answer session with the audience, saying, "Thank you all for coming, but I'm going to have to get my hair washed."

(joe :: Creamy Italian or Ranch?)

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